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Medicine of Time Travel

by Holly Brewer

/
  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Medicine CD
    Comes in a lovely side opening eco wallet case (CD in one side and booklet in the other)
    A full colour 16 pg booklet (the biggest this design allows) accompanies the music.
    There are riddles to solve, clues that lead you to a secret website (song download) and many hidden messages from holly inside the album artwork.



    Note: Employ a magnifying glass to solve the puzzles

    Tracklist
    bows and arrows
    billboard bandit
    flesh shapes
    can’t hit
    excess
    water balloons
    EACHONETEACHONE
    Teatime Wormhole
    Medicine of Time Travel
    lilacs
    oneteen
    Medicine of Time Travel – tea mix

    Includes unlimited streaming of Medicine of Time Travel via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ... more
    ships out within 3 days
    edition of 100 

      $13.13 USD or more 

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

    bonus track is hidden within the messages of the booklet. It leads you to a web address. Happy Hunting!
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
Keep our family close Close like bows and arrows
 Keep our family close Close like bows Bows and arrows 
Assault ready or not?!
 Ready or not?!
 Assault ready or not?!
 Ready? Assault!

 Coming at you!
 Rise up!
 Welcome Home! You’re not Crazy!
 You’re not Alone!

 Keep our family close Close like bows and arrows
 Keep our family close Close like bows 
Bows and arrows 

Assault ready or not?!
 Ready or not?!
 Assault ready or not?! 
Ready? Assault!

T There’s an evil in my house with the keys to where I live. There’s no escaping him and all the things he is. When it gets real bad, I calm my head. I remember one day I’ll at least be dead and then it ends right there. What’s the worst that can happen? It’s the end. You’ve got a key!
 I went out here and laid in the road. I thought if I could die here, it’d be over but no one is driving by to help. ‘Cause my dog got hit here. I thought maybe but it’s been a while and I’m cold I guess.


 Coming at you! 
You’ve GOT A KEY!

 Rise up!
 Welcome Home! You’re not Crazy!
 You’re not Alone!


 Assault ready?!
 Assault ready?! Assault ready?! Assault ready?!
 Assault ready or not
Ready?! Assault!


 Coming’s at you
! You’ve GOT A KEY!

 You gotta Keep our family close Close like bows 
Bows and arrows 
You’ve got a key!

2.
This is so much fun!

 We gotta fight for our right!
 Runnin’ through the night, we’re gonna make it right!
 We gotta fight with all our might!
 Runnin’ through the night, we’re gonna be alright!


 We gotta fight for our right!
 Runnin’ through the night, we’re gonna make it right!
 We gotta fight!

 You could call me a Billboard Bandit
‘cause I always go crimin’
 All I need is a can of paint
 and I’m already climbing 
‘Cause These glossy signs z’been breakin’ minds
 They promise many things 
I’ll take every advert expose what it really means. Ha!

 Make signs not sense Make signs nonsense Make signs make sense 
We gotta fight for our right!
 Runnin’ through the night, we’re gonna make it right!
 We gotta fight with all our might!
 Runnin’ through the night, we’re gonna be alright!

 Make signs not sense Make signs nonsense Make signs make sense 

 You’re more than just a pretty face 
upon the billboards that you grace The Corporations selling lies They shoot them in our eyes
 You’re more than just a selling point You are the beauty that’s inside
 you needn’t shave to be their queen you needn’t live their cyber dream 

We gotta fight for our right!
 Runnin’ through the night, we’re gonna make it right!
 We gotta fight with all our might!
 Runnin’ through the night, we’re gonna be alright!

 Make signs not sense Make signs nonsense Make signs make sense 

3.
flesh shapes 02:38
I’m keen on the way your flesh is arranged. 
I’m keen on the way your skin wraps around your skeleton.

 Your face is a record breaker.
 Heart to hold in the woods on a stake.
 A fire beats up on the side of the trees inside these glorious nights. I’m keen on the way your flesh is arranged.
 I’m keen on the way your skin wraps around your skeleton. 

Hands that hold my face in them now. 

 Your face is a record breaker.
 Heart to hold in the woods on a stake. 
A fire beats up on the side of the trees inside these glorious nights. 
Your heart has an echo in me.
 We laugh and we throw off the sheets.

 We’ll dream when we’re ready to leave, for now you’re inside me.

 I’m keen on the way your flesh is arranged.
 I’m keen on the way your ghost wraps around the skin it’s in.
4.
can't hit 05:17
poking holes in veiny leaves 3,000 x & the blood won’t bleed what i need is not to need to leave (under water) (vg jnf nyy whfg n urebva qernz - frqngvat) sitting with a view like this backdrop the whole universe dress is made of dreaming fish hair is colored like the sky there’s an ocean waving to me as i’m heading toward the shore my heart is filling up with chaos as i bask in centuries come and plant what you need these seeds become trees You’ll lose your garden There’s an ocean!!! 

poking holes in veiny leaves 3,000 x & the blood won’t bleed friends’ll leave every place behind (the water) (vg jnf nyy whfg n urebva qernz - frqngvat) sitting with a gift of peace tiny slice is all i’ll keep a memory of getting through open heart is living proof there’s an ocean moving through me as i’m floating toward my doom my arms are covered i’ve been bruising and my hand is choking me come and plant what you need these seeds become trees autumn brings the harvest in the veil between the worlds is thin before the winter of my life i’ll settle down make me my wife








5.
excess 03:06
we are the birds
 who got used to the bell
 we are the cats who used to hunt so well we’re just looking we are the elephants who carry and bury our dead we are the alligators underneath your bed we’re just looking
 for a place

 any place will do
 a place without you 
you and your excess

 a place, a home, a cave
 to help us stay safe
 during your trespass


 we are the frogs warming up on the tar in the rain
 we are the python in your sewer drain

 we were just living we are the pangolin trying to keep our skin we are the coyote you found outside your bin now we’re just running to a place

 any place will do
 a place without you 
 you and your excess

 a place, a home, a cave 
to help us stay sane
 during your trespass

 we are the wild horses
 the very essence of free
 and above our heads from your metal bird
 you go on a killing spree we’re not asking you to help us we just want you to go leave us you just ruin every wetland you break everything that you touch
6.
let this be how it ends arms stretched out like I’m hugging a ghost friend i’m out of fucks to give backed in a corner with no-one to tend to me i’ve licked all your wounds and i’ve fought off your enemies it’s all over when you said that i was what was wrong with the world i had to take you at your word i’m on the inside now no one’s looking out when you said that i was what was wrong with the world i had to take you at your word i’m on the inside now no one’s coming out let this be how it ends arms stretched out like i’m hugging an old friend i’m raw - opened up trapped in a corner with no-one to tend to me i’ve licked all your wounds and i’ve fought off your enemies it’s all over when you said that i was what was wrong with the world i had to take you at your word i’m on the inside now no one’s looking out when you said that i was what was wrong with the world i had to take you at your word i’m on the inside now no one’s coming out how could i believe you? let this be how it ends arms stretched out like i’m hugging an old friend i’m raw - opened up packed in a corner with no-one to tend to me i licked all your wounds and i fought all your enemies it’s all over when you said that i was what was wrong with the world i had to take you at your word i’m on the inside now no one’s looking out when you said that i was what was wrong with the world i had to take you at your word i’m on the inside now no one’s coming out

7.
i’m gonna teach you every everything that i know how to make a garden last in the snow how to make a filter out rocks and coal. but you gotta get up i'm gonna teach you every 
everything that i know how to stay warm when you’re shivering cold
 how to hold on and to let go
 (get out of the road)
 kill me kill me
! why don’t you kill me? 
kill me kill me 
why don’t you kill me now?
 I can’t ‘cause i’m gonna show you every everything that i know we could walk in the woods are you ready go? we'll go to sleep on a bed of leaves under the oldest oak tree and it'd be you and me. 
i’m gonna teach you.
 kill me kill me
! why don’t you kill me? 
kill me kill me! 
why don’t you kill let me die here and now? End it!
 Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! 
listen kid.
 you gotta see.
 i am you & and you're me. 
 i can’t explain it now but if i let you die then i i'll - disappear. 
i kinda like it here so you better get through this i’m living proof that you can do this you gotta trust in me
. give me your hand get outta’ the street

! I know you’re afraid to speak
 I’m afraid to speak They’ll come They’ll take your family I’m afraid to sleep of smashed up faces and bruises all over
 I’m afraid to see They’re riddled with fear They’ll take my mom from me until life disappears It’s all I know It’s enough to make me sick It’s all I know I’m remembering It’s all I know all of it! No No No No no no NO! NO! NO! Shhhh

 How could she know now?
 How we end up fine. 
We’re here with you. You’re not alone! (come on)
 You’re not Alone (it’s okay) 
We’re here with you
 You’re not alone You’re not alone We’re here with you Come on!
 You can tell me every - everything that you know Tell me all your stories and we’ll fix shit that’s broke We can ride on motorcycles winding our hair I can teach you 

I wanna’ show you every - every part of me where I’ve been and what I’ve seen to believe Give and take and ready to receive ‘Cause it’s the only way to be free

8.
How lovely this room How well we are met Those whom privy mine eyes beget Those who are nay let it not be in way for time here hangs Hello. I made you a cup of tea. Are you ready?
9.
a place that stays exactly the way you left it
 corridor
 stand where you are
 where you are right now
 CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE
 You can turn the page back to any day 
even the ones you don’t remember now
 memory kept a promise to leave the light on in the stone 
not to complicate
 there are no mistakes
 you made it here, didn’t you? now split yourself in half
 meet you in your past
 on your own turf
 and on your own timeline
 you can fold yourself 
 deep upon yourself
 keep on folding all your selves in 
layer upon layer 
 your voices bring the colour of the day or night 
all that distracts is a nuisance and so obvious now 
take your cut out
 it’s your new talisman
 it’s the medicine of time travel

10.
lilacs 05:03
lilacsikeepwakinguptoolateforschoolandhangingoutinthewoodsonthewaytoschoolinstead.imostlysetleavesonfireandsmokecigarettebuttsifindonthegroundduringmypaperrouteicantsleepbecausemystomachalwayshurtsifeelbadallthetimeimtiredandicanteatbutthenimsohungryicantsleepsobutifieatiwannapuke.itsjustmystomachhurtsallthetimetheteacherstoldonmesonowacophasbeendrivingnexttomewhileiwalktoschooltomakesureigowehavetogothelongwaythough,notthroughthewoodsbecausethentheycantdriveidontwanttogetinthecarbuttheydontevermakemetheydrivenexttomerealslowwhileiwalkallthewaytoschooltheytalktomeaboutwhyidontwanttogotoschoolandwetalkaboutstuffsometimes lilacs everysingledayatthebeginningofthesummerimakelittlebasketsoutoftinfoilandpicklilacsfromourgardenandgivethemtomymomshewasbornwithouthersmellhernosecantsmellbutwhenigivethemtohersheputsthemuptohernoseandbreathesinandgoesmmmmmthankyouandlastyearmomputajarinthelaundryroomandtoldusalltoputanychangethatwefindinthereonthejaritsaiddisneyworldwefilleditupasmuchaswecouldshepickedupthejarandsaidwehaveenoughtogowedrovedowntofloridaandspenttheweekinatrailerbyariverwithadeadbunnyfloatinginitidontthinkicarediftherewasamilliondeadthingsfloatingintheriverandcockroacheseverywherecausemymomgotusawayfrommystepdadfor10daysidontevenlikemickeymouseoranyofthemitskidstuffbutyesterdayshetoldusthattheyregettingdivorcedthisisthehappiestdayofmylifetodayigotuptodayrealearlyandmilkedgoatsandpouredthemilkintoanemptycontainertheotherkidsdontseemtonoticebuticanalwaystellandidontcareforitatallittasteslikegoathairialwayssetoutmyclothesforthewholeweekonsundaysoiknowwhati’mgoingtoweareverydayitscoldinthemorningssoihavetowearmysnowpantsandtuckthemintomybootsthedogswaterdishfreezesinthekitchensowepokeitwithastickinthisgiantfreezinghouseitshauntedheresalittlegirlherewhoisdeadicallherlilybutshedoesntknowhernameandsheknocksonthedoornexttomybedthatgoesintotheeavesmybestfriendwontsleepoveranymorebecauseoflilyandalltheotherghostsbutimfriendswithlilyshehasneverdoneanythingmeantomesheknockssometimesanditellhertogoawayandshekeepsknockingsometimesandsometimesshestopsiespeciallytellhertostopwhenmyfriendsareoverbecausetheyhardlycomeoveranymorecausetheyrescaredofherwhenshegetsmadsometimesshethrowstoysdownthestairswhenwereinthelivingroomandbabysitterranawaywhenthathappenedtheresameanghostherewhobreaksthingsandopensbigheavydoorswhenweputdressersinfrontofthemevenbutheonlyreallymesseswithmystepdadandsomeeldersfromthekingdomhallthatcameovertootheygotsoscaredtheydroppedtheirflashlightsandleftinabighurryonenighttheyweresupposedtocomeoverandhelpoutwiththeghostsbuttheyweretoochickentheresaghostthatlikestomoveeverythinginthekitchenandmymomyellsthisismykitchenandtheflourgoesoverhereandsheputseverythingbackinthemorningandtheghostalwaysmoveshercookingjarstothefloorwherethecounterusedtobethatmightbetheghostthatputherhandonmymomsshoulderwhileshewasplayingpianoonenightshedidntlikeitbutithinktheghostlikedherpianoithinktheghostlikedherillmisssomeoftheghostsbutiwontmissthehouseweremovingoutsowecanttakealotimsoexcitedidontevencareabouthavingtogotoanewschoolidontcareaboutanythingbadanymoreimso happy
11.
oneteen 02:38
I remember turning ten I was so excited to hit the double digits. I called it tenteen. Once I turned oneteen I had been moved out of the haunted house into another big house but this one was split up into 4 sections. Right before I turned twelve everything goes black. The long slog to twelve and a half and thirteen was spent blacked out. But why? We were finally free from him. I was finally free from him. I just wasn’t able to bask in the warmth of the word “safe”. The way I saw it every councilor, every teacher, every adult that passed by was a possible abductor waiting for the right moment to rip us all apart. My Mom, a newly liberated single woman with four children working four jobs. she still couldn’t make ends meet in the eyes of the state. We hopped schools a lot and moved a bunch but now that my Mom was on her own, working so much to get us all raised up and finally free - now we could be split up and taken away - for neglect. I was down in the dungeons of my mind from mid oneteen to twelve, for a year. Feverishly sorting through memories, putting them where they needed to go. Every time the wind would blow it sent memories flying into the air. If a familiar shadow or silhouette or a sound happened at the just the right or wrong moment then the wind would blow causing the memories to fly around. Some particularly awful memories would blow right up against my face screaming to be noticed, to be dealt with. So I spent a whole year building filing cabinets in a dungeon and sorting every damn memory I could find.  That was the year I only remember as a cartoon version of itself.  I can’t re[me]mber what happened [outside] that year I can only get glimpses of me setting large structures on fire and writing so hard in my journals that the pages ripped; but that was when all the groundwork was laid. That year of twelve is a big part of why I’m okay now.
12.
a place that stays exactly the way you left it
 corridor
 stand where you are
 where you are right now
 CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE
 You can turn the page back to any day 
even the ones you don’t remember now
 memory kept a promise to leave the light on in the stone 
not to complicate
 there are no mistakes
 you made it here, didn’t you? now split yourself in half
 meet you in your past
 on your own turf
 and on your own timeline
 you can fold yourself 
 deep upon yourself
 keep on folding all your selves in 
layer upon layer 
 your voices bring the colour of the day or night 
all that distracts is a nuisance and so obvious now 
take your cut out
 it’s your new talisman
 it’s the medicine of time travel


about

I've been making music under different band names since I was 15 years old (HUMANWINE), (The Folks Below), (Veil), (Exploit TV) & (Crow Calls Fox). This is my first solo release.

Medicine of Time Travel is "An Abridged Sonic Autobiography".
A personal record is a decidedly different approach to releasing music for me. My entire body of work until now consists of sociopolitical songs, protest songs and tales of a mythical place called Vinland and the interactions of its residents therein.

It's frightening to release something so raw and dear to me but I'm not just going to sit on it. I hope the songs offer some medicine for others. I know they've helped me.

I started my own Record Label, Nervous Relatives Records in 2001 to release my work. Medicine of Time travel is Nervous Relatives Records' tenth release. *squeeee*

ABOUT:
Until now, I have intentionally kept my personal life out of my music life. I’d bury any personal songs as they were trying to be born and let the general socio-political songs step into the light or at least veil them in a sufficient amount of metaphor rendering them untraceable. Recently CBC, BBC and ABC have been re-airing their coverage of my stories back from 2002 and follow-ups from 2012 because of the heat coming down on jw.org and because of the #metoo movement. People always reach out to me when those shows air to offer their blessings and often to share their own stories with me. I always write back. We’ve become friends and allies. Nearly 2 decades have passed since my court case. Plenty of time for people to get to know my work without knowing about any of the other stuff. I liked it that way because I could be sure people wouldn’t “pity-like” my work because of my story. That was my biggest concern. I’m not sure why it was so important to me, now, but it was an obsession. I worked very hard to build and maintain a border through the center of me.
I just wanted my music to stand on its own. And it has. It’s safe now, to release a project like this for a lot of reasons but mostly because I feel safe doing it.

April/May 2019 I was in South Afrika volunteering with The Dung Beetle Project. While I was hanging out with and singing for these awesome, strong and brave school kids of all different ages across the country; something was calling me to go back on my own timeline, to visit MY younger selves - to listen.

I didn’t intend on giving any warnings or advice to my past selves. I just wanted to listen. Maybe this would help further a healing process I thought I was done with. I wasn’t sure. I had no intention of making or releasing anything like this but when I got back to The States I turned on my equipment and didn’t stop working for a week. By the time I came up for air I had written 8 song stories. Medicine of Time Travel was not only brewing - it was here. BOOM! But it was SO PERSONAL. Every part of me cringed at the thought of sharing these song stories. It was going to be the scariest thing I ever did. Sharing them.

But what do I do when scary things come at me? Do I run? Hell no! I never run away! I run AT them with everything I’ve got! Yeah? YEAH! Come on then! So let’s do this! ...not yet...I can’t... When then? ewww...i dunno...ugh ....you’re not gonna let this go huh? okay but ewww. okay? Yes...fine. YES *hides*
It is time to go into my music world and finally unlock the door that had been blocking my past from pouring in all those years. To let my great healer, MUSIC, envelop it - to honour it. ...fine. Yes. I know. I know you know. *pats back*

It wasn’t really musical at first. Unlike my usual process of actually writing, this was me pressing record, going into a trance induced wormhole of sorts and going back to specific mo[me]nts that would offer to “volunteer” their time with me; and then time got really “fold-y”. (I) was a passenger on this mission.

When I went back on my timeline to meet a younger me, I listened and actually heard my/their “story of now”; I caught things I thought I forgot or perhaps had meant to have forgotten. My past-self was presenting Medicine to me, in real-time. Nothing from my present time could distract me once I/they started talking/singing because I had been brought there - completely. All the smells, the colours and scenery come rushing back - tidal. The sounds of that day/night. The gut feelings were on their back foot wearing exclamation points. I got it. I knew what I was supposed to do.

Me and my newly [re]acquainted younger self wanted to see if we BOTH could fold time again to visit our even younger self from a few years before that and with a bit of concentration, It worked! So we BOTH met me from a few years before that and listened to that me’s “story of now”. Some stories made us laugh, others were embarrassing, some revealed wounds we’d thought had long been scarred over but each “story of now” demanded our attention and we BOTH willingly gave it. I heard the guides swirling around whispering little secrets and saw them handing out keys. {I often write songs to myself not realizing they are warnings, until many years later. I think it’s because of those guides. Either that or this album really worked and I did tear the fabric of space-time - anything seems plausible now} There were THREE of us so far and me & the other MEs were in it for the long haul. Folding time upon itself, together. Adding one more me from whenever we all last were. Going deeper and listening.

Whenever the MEs went back in time, our selves went further in together building a “family of listeners” until there were many versions of me listening to the littlest ME’s “story of now”. The story that has been silently guiding me through my whole life hiding in my amygdala - with a megaphone.

We all looked at our hands and each other's faces noticing how they stayed the same, but different. Silver linings burned brightly through the cracks and together, as one big family, everyone listened in silence. We had all spent a goodly amount of time - together. What now?
It was time for all the MEs and myself to go back to every one’s respective ‘now’ - with all that Medicine.
Of course I broke the rules and took everyone back to “my time".
Just for a few minutes.



ATTN:
This is not a linear album it is ∞. There are intersecting points in Medicine of Time Travel. The tracks DO APPEAR in the order listed in larger print but this is a choose your own adventure record. I ultimately chose the order for the album because I found it to be the most emotionally and aurally pleasing path for a passerby who may stumble upon it in the future. Follow the KEY to trace the path I took to get here.

fun-fact: The song EACHONETEACHONE took place during bows and arrows. Bows and arrows is narrated by a 10 yr old (who is being visited by all the of the ages present on the album) but during ‘bows and arrows’ a 16 yr old (who didn’t want to say anything before) has a "song conversation" with the 10 yr old (everyone
else also chimes in) - that "song conversation" is titled EACHONETEACHONE.


KEY
12. Medicine of Time Travel - tea mix
6. water balloons
5. excess
4. can't hit
3. flesh shapes
11. oneteen
2. billboard bandit
1. bows and arrows & 7. EACHONETEACHONE
10. lilacs
8. Teatime Wormhole
9. Medicine of Time Travel

credits

released September 20, 2019

bows and arrows - holly brewer (voices, midi & sound FX)
billboard bandit - holly brewer (voices = yep all the voices, midi, guitar, flute & sound FX)
flesh shapes - holly brewer (voices, midi, guitar, clapping, straw & sound FX)
can’t hit - holly brewer (voices, midi & sound FX)
excess - holly brewer (voices, midi & sound FX)
water balloons - holly brewer (voices, midi & sound FX)
EACHONETEACHONE - holly brewer (voices, midi, guitar & sound FX)
Teatime Wormhole - holly brewer (voices & sound FX)
Medicine of Time Travel - holly brewer (voices, midi, clarinet, flute & sound FX)
lilacs- holly brewer (voice, midi & sound FX)
oneteen - holly brewer (voice & sound FX)
Medicine of Time Travel - tea mix - holly brewer (voices, sound FX)

Art design & Layout by Holly Brewer
Original Cover Art by Héctor Casanova
Story photo by Ray Larose
Water Balloons, Flesh Shapes Drawings by Mat McNiss

ATTN GEARHEADS: Sennheiser e 835, Behringer B-2 Pro, Yamaha HS5 Studio Monitors, FOCAL Spirit Professional, Behringer U-PHORIA UMC22,
*Akai MPK25, *Alesis V49, student flute & clarinet, Ibanez GA35TCEDVS, iMac, Macbook Pro, iPhone( “Foley” & sound FX), Seagate 2 TB hard drive.
Programs: Ableton Live 9, Photoshop CS6 Plug-ins: U-he, Tyrell, iZotope |“Nature” samples and the guy saying “Jehovah” from freesound.org
My “Studio” is a desk under a lofted bed with no soundproofing. You may notice the sounds of cars going by or people chattering in other rooms. It’s part of the charm.

All songs composed, arranged, performed, engineered, mastered and produced by Holly Brewer
cc2019 Nervous Relatives Music
This is the tenth release from my Record Label started in 2k01, Nervous Relative Records *squeee*

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